Wrong
by lilac-bramble
Summary: Ikkaku and Yumichika have always had a fairly open relationship - after all, they've got centuries together. And it's always worked well, up til now...
1. Chapter 1

The culmination of an exceptionally painful fortnight had been to wake and see Ikkaku entwined with Kira on the mat beside him. Both had been sleeping, Kira's head resting on Ikkaku's shoulder just where his own head should have been. The sight of blond hair against Ikkaku's skin made him feel sick.

The thought of them coming in late at night and making love as he slept - of Ikkaku seeing him lying there, defenceless and vulnerable and doing this to him. Choosing to do it. It made a hard black ball of pain and rage inside him that every muscle in his body clenched against. He couldn't bear to watch them wake. He'd got up as quietly as he could and gone into the bathroom.

He locks the door and sits down on the floor in the early morning light. Slowly the rage which had previously been dominated by the pain begins to rise to equal it. Yumichika can think now, and he begins to consider what he should do.

It had all begun when he and Ikkaku had quarrelled about something very trivial on their way to meet their friends for a drink. Ikkaku had not been in the mood to be placated, and when all Yumichika's efforts had met with stony taciturnity he had become bitchy and vicious in return. And they arrived to find that Shuuhei and Kira had also had some kind of fall out. Something rather more serious than their own.

In such a situation it might be expected that Shuuhei and Ikkaku would pair off and drown their sorrows together with loud laddishness. And Yumichika and Kira would complain about them and amuse their female friends and Yumichika would get Kira very drunk, and in the end Shuuhei would've had to've taken him home to stop him drooling over Yumichika's hakama.

However, Yumichika didn't like Kira much. He didn't like the way the irises of his eyes were so small, and he didn't like his hairstyle, and the broken way he always looked irritated him so much that he wanted to scream. And particularly when those horrible eyes were brimming with tears. It made him want to hurt the man more, not comfort him. So he'd gone off with Shuuhei instead. And then everything had gone wrong.

He has to admit now that he made a serious miscalculation there. But at the time he just wanted to annoy Ikkaku, and pay him back for being so mean and stubborn. And make him jealous. And not have to talk to that irritating Kira. So he'd flirted outrageously with Shuuhei, and been very charming and amusing and exceptionally good company. Shuuhei was very receptive, and he'd begun to feel quite a lot better. Only then he'd looked over to see how Ikkaku was reacting to his performance, and Ikkaku wasn't paying any attention at all, and Kira Izuru was weeping into his shoulder.

Yumichika remembers how even then this had provoked an irrational (he thought then!) burst of rage in him. Kira's performance had seemed something to rival his own, and he had resolved that it should have absolutely no affect on Shuuhei. He recounted his quarrel with Ikkaku as an amusing anecdote, and rolled his eyes as he implied that it did no harm to take these minor disagreements with a pinch of salt. He allowed Shuuhei's hand to linger on his thigh. When he looked round again Ikkaku and Kira were gone.

Somehow he had got through the rest of the evening. Shuuhei was very hard to get away from, and tried to get it on with Yumichika in a back alley when they did finally leave. Yumichika had only escaped by using shunpo and hiding his reiatsu. He'd arrived back at the 11th flustered, disorientated and angry and all but ignored the reproachfully (and unusually) sober Ikkaku he found waiting.

It had transpired in the morning that Ikkaku had just walked Kira home, and then gone home himself. Yumichika had made some bitchy remark about fukutaichou's who couldn't get themselves home, and Ikkaku had been angry. Then he'd gone to see Kira at the 3rd later that day. Since then they'd been visiting each other all the time, and Ikkaku got a horrible tender, _serious_ look on his face every time Kira's name was mentioned. And somehow Yumichika just couldn't stop sniping at him. Both of them got more and more fed up with each other's company and nothing could be resolved between them as every time Ikkaku addressed Yumichika he got a sarcastic, biting reply, and every time Ikkaku got one of those he'd entirely clam up.

And now there is this. Ikkaku had gone out last night and not come back. Yumichika had of course assumed the worst was happening, but had eventually got himself to sleep. And woken up to this.

His back aches where he leans against the bath. He decides a bath might be the only way to start this day, which promises to be a shocker. He wonders if he'll even be able to speak to Ikkaku. Possibly it would be better not to until he's thought through exactly what he wants to say. But waking Ikkaku and Kira while he's in here and not able to see definitely seems like a good plan. He gets up and turns on the hot tap, relishing the noise it makes as it splashes onto the enamel. He hopes they haven't had much sleep.

He trails his hand in the stream of water while it warms up. It takes a long time. He'd had this bathroom put in when he and Ikkaku first gained high rank in the 11th. Most squads seemed to have very primitive washing arrangements, and the 11th had been no exception. He puts in the plug. Plans slowly begin to form in his head. Somehow he has to stop Ikkaku before he goes in too deep. And that seems a very real danger here. But Yumichika and Ikkaku's relationship has always been technically an open one. Technically, Yumichika has no right to be angry. But he is. And he know's it's with good reason.

This is very different from Yumichika's chaste conquests all over Seireitei, or Ikkaku's occasional drunken shags with girls. Or the things they'd done together. He remembers how he told Ikkaku all about his single beautiful kiss with the beautiful Byakuya. He can still make Kuchiki Taichou blush just by twitching an eyebrow. Or even that time with Renji and Iba when they were in the 11th as well, and they were both feeling horny and frustrated. Yumichika and Ikkaku had taken pity on them. Yumichika is slightly addicted to making people fall in love with him, but for himself, he'd only fallen in love once. With Ikkaku. He suddenly realises he's crying. 'Che', he thinks. 'This is behaving like Izuru.' He turns on the cold tap and stops the hot one. The thing is that Ikkaku's new relationship is excluding him entirely. That's never happened before.

He can hear voices in the other room now. He's glad not to be able to hear what they're saying. He pours lavender oil into the bath and swirls it round with an elegant hand. It's nearly the right temperature now. He turns off the tap, but keeps swirling to drown out the voices.

It's slightly too hot, but he gets in anyway. He lies back slowly, as his body gets used to the hot water. Now he feels better physically he's able to think more clearly, but his mind is still a blank. Has he really been so awful that the soft and gentle Kira is a relief? Or has Ikkaku just fallen in love? He shuts his mind to the thought. He puts his head under the water as he hears their voices again. 'Maybe it's just an infatuation and it will be over soon,' he thinks. But somehow he knows that's not the case.

He washes his hair, and considers that surely Ikkaku can't find Kira more sexually attractive than him. But no sooner is that thought comforting than it is torture, because then surely there must be some other factor. Love. Maybe Ikkaku never really loved him. Maybe it was always just convenience... He lies in the warm water and listens to their voices. Kira is enthusing about their having a bathroom. Yumichika hates the way Ikkaku doesn't refer to him at all - after all, isn't he the reason they have one? Kira says they only have showers at the 3rd - surely Ikkaku must know that by now. Although, maybe not. Really it's only Yumichika's influence that keeps him clean. He doesn't really have much instinct that way. And now Kira is expressing a desire for a bath! Yumichika feels his stomach boil with rage and hate. And all too soon there's a tap on the door.

'Yumichika!' comes Ikkaku's voice, distressingly impersonal. 'Are you going to be long? Kira wants to use the bath.'

Before he can consider at all what he wants to say, Yumichika has answered. 'Ikkaku, I won't be out until _he'_s gone.' He's pitched his voice so that it rings around the room. There's no way Kira can't have heard. _Now_ things are in motion.

He hears Ikkaku make an exasperated sound, and it seems as if he's about to speak again when Kira's quiet voice chimes in with, 'Never mind, Ikkaku, it doesn't matter - you shouldn't fight with him - I'll go back now, I've probably stayed too long anyway.'

He hates him. He resolves to force Ikkaku to fight with him. How dare that insipid blond try to prescribe their relationship. He can't hear Ikkaku's reply - it's too low a murmur. After a few moment he hears the outer door open. He leans out and unlocks the bathroom door. Then he lies back and waits. He's not even sure what he wants to happen, or how he wants Ikkaku to find him, but he definitely wants to be found. The worst thing would be Ikkaku not coming back. He pictures himself lying there waiting, and the water becoming completely cold.

He hasn't gone with Kira though. Yumichika can hear him moving around in the room outside. Then, 'Yumichika? Can I come in?'

His voice is gentler than Yumichika expects. He manages to keep the venom that he's feeling out of his voice as he replies, 'It's not locked.'

Ikkaku opens the door and Yumichika opens his eyes. He knows they're probably not the ambery violet that he likes Ikkaku to see. They're probably a slaty grey. But perhaps that will actually work better. He doesn't say anything, just looks at Ikkaku with a blank, noncommital expression that he hopes will make him angry.

It does. 'What the fuck, Yumichika!' he says, and the words echo around the bathroom making Yumichika's head ache. He relishes the pain. 'Did you have to be so rude?'

Yumichika doesn't reply, leaving Ikkaku's words hanging. Then he says quietly, 'Did you really fuck him with me asleep beside you?' He doesn't take his eyes from Ikkaku's, and Ikkaku can't quite meet his gaze now. But, typical alpha male, he reacts to reproach with anger, not apology. Just as Yumichika had planned.

'So that's what all this is about!' He would've denied that he was shouting, but in Yumichika's opinion he is. 'Is this why you've been such a bitch to me all week? I thought we were allowed to do this kind of thing if we wanted! This is supposed to be an 'open relationship', isn't it?'.

Yumichika stands and gets out of the bath in one fluid motion. 'Yes, but it's still possible to be unfaithful, even in an 'open relationship'. He mercilessly mimics Ikkaku's inflection. He wraps a towel around his hips and begins to dry his hair with another. 'I've never gone this far. I never thought you'd want to either.'

'Well, if there are all these subtle distinctions you should have said beforehand - I can't be expected to - '

'You needed a pre-nup?' Yumichika sneers. 'If you can't see the _subtle distinctions_ for yourself then this obviously doesn't mean anything to you at all. This isn't opening a relationship, it's destroying one!'

'It's your choice whether it's destroyed or not - you're the one who's - '

'Fuck you, Ikkaku,' Yumichika snarls, 'You know I don't have any choice in this matter at all. Go after your broken little fukutaichou and tell him he can suck _me_ off next if he wants to be part of _this_ relationship - '

'Leave Kira out of this!' Ikkaku grabs Yumichika's shoulder and thrusts him up against the wall. Yumichika continues breathlessly,

'Though with his submission complex, he'd probably quite like that,' - This is going perfectly now, he thinks. All that's needed to complete the scene is some blood - 'not that I'd be able to bear it with his horrible tiny pupils staring at me. I suppose you want to mend his broken heart! Do you think you can do that by breaking mine?!'

Ikkaku slams him back harder, and a glass that somebody (probably Kira) has left on the sink is dislodged. It smashes and meets Yumichika's arm as it swings out with the force of Ikkaku's movement, slicing a long gash down the inner side of his wrist. It immediately starts to bleed hugely. Yumichika dimly registers the sound of the rest of the glass shattering on the floor, and Ikkaku's horrified expletive as his knees begin to give way.

'Fuck, no, Yumi don't move, there's glass everywhere!' Yumichika loses interest in the glass and drifts immediately into an intensely involved dream in unusually vivid colour. Fuji Kujaku is there, but he isn't really himself, and Yumichika is using him to cut his feathers into smaller and smaller pieces... It feels like an eternity, though he can't have blacked out for more than a minute, really. He comes round feeling cooler air on his face. His head is filled with strange menacing fairground music. I didn't mean quite this much blood, he thinks. Ikkaku is carrying him out of the bathroom, and gently laying him down on a futon.

He lies back and shuts his eyes as Ikkaku roughly binds the wound in one of the towels, and then goes for bandages and water. He begins to shiver, and makes an effort to elevate his wrist.

'Don't move!' Ikkaku is beside him again. He washes the cut, and Yumichika cranes his neck up to look at it. It's very clean and straight, and not hugely deep - the excessive bleeding was probably due to his raised body temperature. Ikkaku bandages it tightly.

Yumichika sits up and accepts the water that Ikkaku feeds him. 'Perhaps I should take you to the 4th,' Ikkaku says. 'They'd deal with it in seconds.'

Yumichika shakes his head. 'I'll deal with it myself as soon as my reiatsu's got a bit higher. It's not worth going to 4th for.' The corner of his mouth twitches and he knows if he meets Ikkaku's eyes he will burst out laughing. Of course you want it erased in seconds, he thinks, because that would erase the guilt you feel as well. And I need that to stay. 'Lets see the carnage.' he says lightly, getting up (only slightly unsteadily) and walking to the door of the bathroom. Ikkaku follows him. There's blood and glass all over the floor. Yumichika is quite surprised at the amount of blood. It actually makes him feel a little queasy, but he refuses to show it. Ikkaku takes his arm anyway and makes him sit down at the table by the window.

He brings him tea and sponges the rest of the blood of him and puts a kimono around his shoulders (one of Kyouraku taichou's pink ones that they had found in their possession after a night of drunken debauchery that neither of them quite remember). Yumichika knows that the trouble is not over yet, but in spite of that he feels better and his reiatsu starts to rise. Ikkaku brings out some rice and they eat in silence, regarding each other, neither knowing quite what to say. They seem to have an uneasy truce, and neither wants to violate it. Neither wants to go back to the sniping and silences that they've endured for the last two weeks.

'Your eyes are going purple again,' says Ikkaku at last.

'Violet...' murmurs Yumichika protestingly.

Ikkaku's stomach twists as he watches the colour of Yumichika's eyes intensify. He knows too well that Yumichika's eyes only go that slate grey colour when he's feeling really low. Did he really hurt him that much? Even after all these years together he still finds Yumichika's emotional range quite frightening. Perhaps that's why he's finding it so soothing being with Kira, whose emotional compass seems to swing only between calm and desolate.

They set off on patrol together about half an hour later, and around mid-morning they run into Kira leading a group of new recruits to the 3rd. Ikkaku feels Yumichika's reiatsu spike murderously, and it's only at this point that he notices that he's left off his characteristic orange arm protector. The slightly bloody bandage is on plain view, and Kira sees it at once.

'Oh, Yumichika.' he says with concern in his voice, 'What's happened to your arm?'

Ikkaku could have strangled Yumichika as he says airily, 'Oh, we had a bit of an accident in the bathroom after you left. It wasn't really Ikkaku's fault, though...'

Kira's (small-pupilled) eyes turn to him questioningly, and he looks away. Yumichika is still talking.

'It's nothing really, though it did bleed rather a lot... someone had left a glass on the sink.'

Kira blushes, knowing that he had left it there, and Yumichika probably knows that too.

' - probably me,' Yumichika prattles on, cold eyes boring into him, 'I was in such a state last night I don't remember half of what I did...'

Some of the new recruits are sniggering now, sensing their fukutaichou's discomfort, and Ikkaku hastily grabs Yumichika's upper arm and leads him away, muttering a gruff 'see you later' to Kira. It's a very familiar gesture, and Kira feels alone and left out. He wonders if Yumichika is going to be _very_ troublesome. He resolves to speak to him when they all meet later that night.


	2. Chapter 2

Matsumoto, Iba and Renji are the first to arrive at the pub that evening. They sit outside, around a wooden table, drinking sake and discussing the new and troubling relationship forming within their group.

'S'all going to end in tears.' is Iba's contribution.

'Yes, but _whose_, that's the question really, isn't it? pouts an avid Matsumoto.

All three sit back in the evening sunlight and consider.

'All parties concerned.' Iba comes out with triumphantly.

'Yes, probably, but ultimately is what I mean.' says Matsumoto.

'Iba could still be right,' puts in Renji.

'Break-up all round, you mean? But that's unlikely, isn't it? Someone's going to pick up the pieces.'

Iba suggests placing bets on the outcome, and after a few moments of pretending to be scandalised at his insensitivity Matsumoto draws up a list of the possible outcomes. She reads it out.

'Yumichika and Ikkaku together and Kira and Shuuhei together. Yumichika and Ikkaku together, Kira and Shuuhei apart. Ikkaku and Kira together, Yumichika and Shuuhei together - '

Renji and Iba shake their heads knowingly.

'Ikkaku and Kira together, Yumichika desolate and Shuuhei fancy-free. Yumichika and Shuuhei together, Ikkaku desolate, Kira desolate. Yumichika and Kira toge - '

'No, no,' chorus Renji and Iba, and Renji continues, 'Yumichika really can't stand Kira. That's never going to happen.'

'I think you've got all the options already', says Iba. 'Only why doesn't Shuu ever get desolate?'

'Well, because I just don't think he's that type.'

Renji chooses option one, not wanting to have a vested interest in the unhappiness of his friends. Iba is trying to decide between the last two when Shuuhei himself appears, and Matsumoto quickly hides the list. He doesn't appear to be in bad spirits, but is closely followed by Ikkaku and Yumichika. They appear together, but the tension between them is palpable. Yumichika seems very reserved and sits as far as he can from Shuuhei. Then they are joined by Kira, who sits on Ikkaku's other side. Everyone feels Yumichika's reiatsu change.

At first Kira is quite restrained - he does seem to have been affected by their encounter earlier. But after about half an hour he is irritating Yumichika so much that he has to excuse himself. He makes his way to the gents and sits there furiously for as long as he can bear. Perhaps he should ask Shuuhei to help him. Perhaps for some sexual favour he would agree to try and take Kira back and off their hands. Yumichika can't really stand the toilet cubicle very long, and he soon makes his way back outside. But as he returns to the table Kira jumps up and comes to meet him.

Yumichika freezes in horror as Kira takes his arm and asks if they could have a private word. It's the last thing he wants to do, though he supposes he could possibly turn the situation to his advantage. He looks coldly at Kira's hand on his arm, but Kira doesn't let go, and urges him off towards the practise grounds behind the building. Yumichika looks back at Ikkaku and widens his eyes, signalling his discomfort, but Ikkaku makes no move to help.

'Well?' Yumichika says, as Kira finally stops and lets go of him. He fixes him with a basilisk stare.

'Look, Yumichika-san,' says Kira in a horrible gentle friendly tone. 'I feel that we haven't really got off on the best footing - '

'No, perhaps not,' Yumichika breaks in sweetly, 'but considering you've stolen my boyfriend perhaps it's the best that can be expected.'

Kira was not ready for such a direct approach, and is taken aback. 'That - that's not what Ikkaku says,' he said awkwardly. 'Ikkaku said you two had some arrangement...'

'If he said I was just some fuck-buddy I don't want to hear it.' Yumichika injects his tone with bitterness and reproach. 'Have a bit of sensitivity, Kira. It's obviously not how our relationship seems to me.'

'There's no need for things to be unpleasant between us.' says Kira patiently. 'I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings, but this really means a lot to me and I think Ikkaku feels the same way - '

Yumichika interrupts again. 'Are you really warning me off, Kira? This should really be the other way around. I don't believe you know what being important to somebody is! Just how much of a man-whore are you? How many people have to comfort you with their cock before you'll be satisfied?!'

Kira is shocked, and, yes, angry now. Good, thinks Yumichika. 'I warn you,' he says softly, 'I won't give him up easily, not like you've abandoned Shuuhei - did you know he made a move on me, by the way? And don't think filling your eyes with crocodile tears is going to work on me - I've always found your eyes exceptionally ugly.'

Kira stands rooted to the spot, unable to believe that anyone would say these things to him after all he's been through. And Yumichika hasn't finished yet. 'How long are you going to fuck your way round Seireitei, with no thought for the friendships you smash along the way. Shuuhei and Ikkaku used to be good friends as well - now they can barely look at each other, because of you.'

'Stop saying these things!' Kira bursts out. Before he's had time to think it through, he's drawn Wabisuke on Yumichika.

Yumichika has heard about this sword from Renji, and makes no attempt to draw Fuji Kujaku. Instead he hits Kira with a viciously placed ball of Kidou energy. It's a slightly unusual spell and Kira hasn't expected the 11th squad member to be good with Kidou, and only just manages to deflect it with his sword. They skid away from each other and Yumichika fires of several more in quick succession. One of them hits him, but doesn't seem to cause any visible damage. It hurts a lot though, and Kira begins to go for Yumichika seriously with his zanpakoutou. He takes a few more hits, but Yumichika is definitely playing defensively now. He's breathing hard - his incantationless spells seem to have taken it out of him. In a few more moves Kira has Yumichika pinned against the steps that lead out of the training ground with Wabisuke at his throat. He realises a moment later that he's miscalculated, though, as there's a ball of white light at Yumichika's fingertips that it's going to be impossible to evade now, and at this close range...

Yumichika lets Kira get the blade to his throat and is about to hit him with the kidou he'd been preparing for this moment when he feels the combined reiatsu of Ikkaku, Shuuhei and Renji approaching fast. He hesitates, then lets the kidou dissipate instead as he sees them come around the corner and into full view. In moments the three of them have flash-stepped over, and Shuuhei and Renji have pulled Kira off him. Ikkaku looks at Kira in disbelief as he helps Yumichika to his feet.

'I thought you wanted to _talk_ to him!' he says. Kira's shoulders droop and Wabisuke returns to normal as he realises just how bad the situation must've looked.

Tears well in his eyes as Renji says severely, 'Should a fukutaichou really do that to a 5th seat, Kira?' He should've realised that Yumichika, a master of self image, would turn this to his advantage.

Shuuhei adds, 'He hadn't even drawn!'

'He was using kidou...' Kira protests feebly. But they all know how good he is with kidou himself and it doesn't seem likely that Yumichika, an 11th man, would choose it over his sword.

Everyone looks down at Yumichika's empty sword hand, and sees that blood has begun to seep through his arm protector. Ikkaku catches up his hand and strips off the orange fabric. 'I told you you should've got that fixed properly. It's reopened. You said you fixed it!'

'It would've been OK if I'd left it alone.' Yumichika replies. He watches blood trickle into his palm. 'My reiatsu wasn't quite as high as usual today and I couldn't make it heal completely earlier...'

Kira sheathes his sword and begins damage limitation. 'I'm sorry, Yumichika.' he says. 'I really didn't bring you out here intending to fight, but...' his voice trails off.

Yumichika decides he doesn't need to play the innocent any more. 'Kira,' he says angrily. 'Don't drag me out here, patronise me, warn me off what's already mine, draw your sword on me and then tell me you didn't want to fight.' His fist clenches and the blood begins to flow faster.

'Look.' says Ikkaku suddenly, not looking at either of them. 'I'm going to take you over to 4th and and make sure you get that properly fixed, and then we can come back here and we'll all have a _civilised_ drink together and _enjoy _the rest of the evening. Sound like a plan?' He doesn't give Yumichika time to refuse, but grabs him by the shoulders and flashsteps them away together.


	3. Chapter 3

They're back in less than half an hour, in which time Matsumoto and Iba have been filled in by Renji, and Shuuhei has made Kira cry. Yumichika considers pretending to have forgiven Kira in order to make him so drunk he passes out, or suggesting a make up threesome, just in order to get _any_ sex, but decides he can't face it. He particularly can't face the idea that it might be Kira-centric. He really only likes group sex when he is the centre of attention. Anyway, Kira is now being soothed and plyed with alcohol by a motherly Matsumoto, so perhaps he'll end up in a pool of his own vomit without Yumichika's intervention.

Yumichika has been drinking rather faster than usual himself, and soon finds himself leaning sleepily into Ikkaku's shoulder. He hopes Ikkaku won't leave with Kira tonight, because he's not sure that he'd be able to get himself home. Ikkaku is still going strong though, and so are Iba and Renji. Perhaps he'll get a second wind. He really mustn't fall asleep though. That would be really embarrassing, and also Ikkaku might leave...

'Aww.' He hears a voice somewhere above him. 'He's asleep!' His eyes flutter open. No, he thinks groggily. I didn't, did I? He focuses with an effort on the face that hovers in front of him, and finds it to be Renji.

Oh no, he thinks. He's suddenly unable to distinguish between reality and the dreams he's just had. 'Did Ikkaku leave? he asks Renji forlornly.

An arm tightens around his shoulders. 'I'm here, featherbrain.' Relief floods through him as he hears Ikkaku's affectionate tone. He struggles into a more upright position and turns to face him. The look that passes between the two men is impossible for an outsider to read, and very brief too as Yumichika looks past Ikkaku and sees a familiar tiny pink haired figure trailing forlornly past them on the path.

'Oh!' He jumps up immediately, forgetting the fact that he's only just woken up, and the amount he's had to drink. He's glad of Ikkaku's hand steadying him. He edges out from the table, not noticing who's on Ikkaku's other side, and heads towards Yachiru.

'Fukutaichou!' he calls, and her head turns immediately and she starts to run towards him, relief and anxiety together in her face. He drops to one knee and holds out his arms to her. 'Fukutaichou, what's the matter? Where's Taichou?'

Yachiru charges into his arms and buries her face in his kimono. He's rarely seen her so upset. He strokes her pink head and makes soothing noises. She turns her face up to him, brows drawn together in an almost comically aggrieved frown.

'I've _lost_ him.' Her voice rises almost to a wail. 'Ken-chan's _lost!_ '

'Lost?' Yumichika replies, trying to hide his smile. 'He can't be far away - I'm sure I can feel him.' He pauses, one hand up by his ear. 'Yes, I can definitely feel him.'

'But _where_ is he??' Yachiru is only slightly comforted. She doesn't have much faith in Yumichika's nearly flawless detection of reiatsu. The pink light of her own starts to gather around her, clouding his reception.

'Give me a minute, sweetheart...' Yumichika protests. He talks on as he tries to keep a hold on Kenpachi's reiatsu, trying to calm her down. 'Where did you last see him? Was it long ago?'

She flares up some more at this. 'It was hours and hours ago, and I've been looking for him ever since, and then I looked for you and I couldn't find anyone, and my feet hurt - '

'Ssh, ssh,' He soothes. He smells alcohol. 'Fukutaichou, have you been drinking?'

'Yes.' Her voice is at once defensive and defiant. He laughs.

'Me too.' He says softly.

Yachiru laughs delightedly. 'Silly Feathers.' she cackles. 'You know you don't have a very high tolerance to alcohol. Are you drunk?

This isn't really true, but Yumichika takes advantage of her lightening mood to get the final trace on Kenpachi's reiatsu. 'Probably.' he says. 'OK, I've got him now. Shall we go and find him? He's not very far - he's probably looking for you too.'

He gets tiredly to his feet, suddenly feeling that this day has gone on forever, wishing that it could just end, now, with him in Ikkaku's arms in bed back at the 11th headquarters. Yachiru is waving her arms in the air, saying her feet hurt. He picks her up, and she feels heavy. He doesn't resent having to do this - despite to her huge amount of power he can never forget that she's just a little girl, and often vulnerable despite her tough-acting. But part of him does wish that it didn't have to be tonight.

There's no way he wants to carry her all through the warren-like Seireitei streets, so flash-step it will have to be, though in his current state it's definitely going to take it out of him. He staggers slightly as he shifts her weight onto one hip and feels Ikkaku's hand support him once again. He looks up at him.

'We're going to find Taichou,' he says. 'Yachiru got lost.'

'_Ken_-chan got lost,' corrects Yachiru. She looks at Ikkaku slightly suspiciously. 'Pachinko-head isn't coming is he?'

'Oh, fukutaichou!' says Yumichika reproachfully, 'if I don't keep him with me_ he_ might get lost.' He turns to Ikkaku again, hoping he appreciated the subtext of this, 'Are you coming?'

'Are you sure you're up to this,' Ikkaku replies, a slightly stern note in his voice. 'You look like you can barely hold her up - shall I take her?'

Yachiru scowls and clings on to Yumichika fiercely. 'It's fine,' he says, as lightly as he can manage. 'You follow.'

He flash-steps away before Ikkaku can protest, and before he can lose the trace he has on his captain and moments later they arrive, slightly unsteadily, in front of him. Kenpachi's eyes widen in surprise, and Yumichika is only just able to keep his balance as Yachiru launches herself off him to take up her place on Kenpachi's shoulder.

'There you are, Taichou!' he says. 'Yachiru's been looking everywhere for you!' He feels Ikkaku arrive behind him as Yachiru and Kenpachi leave, and suddenly feels that he's had all he can take from this day.

But it's not over yet. Yumichika stands in the dark Seireitei street, looking at the spot where Kenpachi and Yachiru just disappeared, and even though he can feel Ikkaku's arm tensed along his shoulders, he knows that he hasn't won him entirely back yet. Ikkaku is not yet exclusively his again. He moves away from him almost indiscernably. Ikkaku feels it though, and his arm tightens.

'Don't do that, Yumichika,' he says, and his voice is as tired as Yumichika feels. He turns and buries his face in Ikkaku's chest, just as Yachiru had done to him earlier.

'Ikkaku..' he says, but then can't carry on. He wants to say, is it over? But he's afraid it would come out, it's not over yet, is it? and that Ikkaku would agree. He'd agree sadly, and his voice would be resigned and in his tone there would be pity. Yumichika doesn't think he could stand it.

Ikkaku's arms go around him, and Yumichika shuts his eyes. Perhaps everything will be OK...

'_Were_ you using kidou?' Ikkaku asks abruptly.

'Of course,' Yumichika replies wearily. Shit, he thinks. This question is double edged... but he's so tired of deception. 'You don't think I'd let him do that to me without putting up a fight, do you?'

'No. I'd be pretty disgusted if you had.'

'I didn't draw because you can't parry with him, remember what Renji said about his sword? And I didn't want to go so far as to actually kill him...'

'No?' Ikkaku sounds amused now.

'Well, it wouldn't've looked good, would it? Actually I could've had him, right at the moment you all arrived. But I thought I'd hold back... for the look of the thing.'

'That's pretty low, Yumichika.' Ikkaku is torn between disapproval and awe at the depths of Yumichika's cunning. 'You made them all hate him.'

Yumichika sighs, Ikkaku can feel the heat against his skin. 'I'll fight this with every means at my disposal, low or not,' he replies, trying to keep his voice light, but failing rather. 'You can't expect me to like this, Ikkaku.'

Ikkaku's stomach clenches suddenly at Yumichika's words and he hates himself for what he's doing. 'I'll never leave you, Yumichika, you know that...' His voice comes out husky and he breaks off. It's not quite what Yumichika wants to hear, he knows. It's a half measure.

Yumichika looks up at him, finally, and their eyes lock. 'Leave _him_, Ikkaku. Please.'

It's the first time Yumichika has ever asked him to give something up. It's probably the first serious request he's ever made of him. Ikkaku looks down at Yumichika's upturned face in the darkness, and he knows that this is a request he really can't refuse. This must surely be one of the unwritten rules of their (semi) open relationship - that if you're asked to stop, you stop. But then there'd never been another thing he wanted as much as this before. He answers with a request of his own.

'Yumichika. Please. Let me have... just a little more time...' Yumichika's face is stricken, even in the darkness Ikkaku can see that. He turns his face away. 'Give me a month to finish this. To get it out of my system. Then I'll be all yours again, I promise.

It's some moments before Yumichika replies. He is shaken to the core. He can hardly believe that Ikkaku has refused him. That he wants this thing with Kira enough to do this. And it won't be a month to get it out of your system, he thinks. It'll be a month to get deeper in. But what good will it do to refuse? It'll make him hate me and maybe he'd carry on anyway.

'One month, then,' he says, and his voice is strained and cold. 'But if it's not over in one month, I'll kill him.'

'It'll be over.' Ikkaku's voice reassures him, though he's still looking away. 'It will be over.'


	4. Chapter 4

In the morning Yumichika wakes up alone. Last night had ended with them going home together, and they'd shared a bed, like they always had before this began, but nothing more had happened. Well, they'd both been tired anyway, and after their conversation in the dark alleyway neither of them really felt like it much.

But it's so unusual for Ikkaku to wake before him. Yumichika supposes that yesterday's emotional upheaval, injury and fighting must have taken more of a toll on him than he realised. He doesn't seem to have much of a hangover, which is a relief, but as he starts to get out of bed he realises that his reiatsu is very low indeed. He feels incredibly tired, like all his limbs are made of lead, and shaky as well.

Yumichika's always had quite a volatile reiatsu - it's very easily affected by his mood. He supposes whether it's something to do with his zanpakoutou type. He toys briefly with the idea of finding Shuuhei and draining him again, but dismisses it as impractical. And he might well find himself needing Shuuhei on his side.

As he sits down in front of his mirror Yumichika considers his options. The fact that he's allowed Ikkaku a month to play with Kira doesn't mean that he's going to stop fighting. And he doesn't think for a minute that Ikkaku would expect him to. He wants Ikkaku back before that month is out. When he thinks about it, he doesn't have an enormous amount of confidence in Ikkaku's promise. Not if he wanted Kira badly enough to refuse Yumichika's request.

Their arrangement means that he can't ask Ikkaku to stop again, and he won't try to stop them by force either. But he will try his hardest to make him want to stop.

But what on Earth is he going to achieve in this state?

Yumichika is trying to put his feathers on, and his hand will not stop shaking. Every time he gets the a feather in the right place his hand will jerk before he can secure it. He fixes his feathers on with a tiny amount of kidou, and that's not something he wants to try rashly with a shaking hand either. He holds his hands up before his face and regards their trembling with disgust.

'This is not a beautiful way to be behaving,' he tells them. 'You're letting yourself go to pieces...'

He can't go out without the feathers. If he does, Ikkaku will assume he's letting himself go on purpose in order to make him feel bad. And pathetic and needy is not the impression Yumichika wants to give right now. He tries again.

He's concentrating so hard that he doesn't feel Kenpachi's reiatsu until he's peering round the door that Ikkaku must have left slightly open.

'Yumichika?' he says, and his surprise at his reliable 5th seat not being up yet is palpable.

Yumichika jumps and drops a yellow feather. 'Oh! Taichou!' he says.

Kenpachi comes into the room and catches up the feather as it floats across the floor towards him. He twirls it between his fingertips. 'I always assumed these things grew on you..' he muses, peering closely at Yumichika's face, perhaps for signs of plucking.

'Taichou!' says Yumichika again, slightly hurt, 'I didn't have them when we first met...'

'Didn't you? What the hell's the matter with you anyway,' Kenpachi demands. 'You look like shit.'

Yumichika shoots a worried glance at the mirror, but doesn't have the energy to be offended. He knows what his captain means. He wouldn't personally have used the words 'like shit', but there are dark smudges under his (slaty-grey) eyes, and his complexion is waxily pale.

'I don't know, Taichou,' he says. 'For some reason my reiatsu's right down...' Damn it, he thinks. I could've just said I have a hangover. Taichou wouldn't be able to tell.

Kenpachi's reaction is not what he expected though. As Yumichika tries again with the red feathers he squats down beside his chair and takes them from him.

'I can't fucking bear to watch this anymore,' he growls. 'I'll hold the damn things straight and you can stick 'em on.'

Yumichika is touched, and even more so when Kenpachi points out that it might be a good plan to put on 'that orange thing' first so that the feathers don't get ruffled. Yumichika hadn't even noticed that he'd forgotten to put it on. Kenpachi turns out to be a very useful accessory for feather attachment. His hand (fairly predictably) is a steady as a rock, and he gets their positions right with very little prompting. Yumichika supposes that he must get quite a lot of practice at this sort of thing with his bells.

Yumichika seems to be getting worse though, or perhaps it's just the proximitiy of Kenpachi's disturbingly huge spiritual pressure, but his hands are getting even less steady. For the last feather Kenpachi (now perched on the edge of Yumichika's dressing table) has to hold Yumichika's hand with his finger pointing at the base of the feather in order for him to be able to apply the kidou. It's at this moment that Ikkaku appears in the doorway. Both of them are so absorbed in their task that they don't notice him immediately.

Kenpachi is saying, 'I came to get you to take some papers to the 9th, but maybe I'd better send Ikkaku? Where is the fucker anyway?'

'I don't know,' Yumichika replies sadly. 'He was gone when I woke.' With huge concentration he generates just the right amount of energy to fix the feather on, and Kenpachi prods his finger forward. 'It's on.'

Ikkaku clears his throat. For some reason the spectacle he's looking at both disturbs and annoys him. Even more so because he suspects that at any other time he'd just have been amused. But what the hell is Kenpachi doing in their room with Yumichika only half dressed? 'I'm here,' he says, slightly belligerently. Really, this situation, considering how Kenpachi had reacted when Yumichika offered to help him with his bells, is quite unprecedented. And Yumichika is sitting practically between Kenpachi's legs as well. Ikkaku strides over to them and stares down at Yumichika, not knowing quite what to say. Yumichika looks fucked, which makes him feel both guilty and irritated at once.

Yumichika's reiatsu jumps up a little as he registers Ikkaku's reaction. That was... unexpected. Though perhaps he should've been able to predict it. But Ikkaku is definitely rattled. Interesting...

Kenpachi drops the papers for the 9th on Yumichika's dressing table and leaves, saying they can sort out who takes them between themselves. He's disturbed too. He's not a particularly perceptive person, but even he can see that something is wrong between his two favourite officers. And all the evidence points to Ikkaku seeing some other - what? Man, woman? Kenpachi doesn't much care, but he certainly isn't going to let his valuable 5th seat - better than most divisions' lieutenants, he reminds himself smugly - slide into a decline because of it. He resolves to keep an eye on the situation.

Yumichika covers the papers with his hand as Ikkaku goes to pick them up. 'I'll take them,' he says. 'It's fine.' He stands up and ties his sash properly, then slides on his arm protector and buttons on the strap that connects it to his collar. All the while he avoids Ikkaku's eye, to hide the glint of amber that suddenly appeared in his own as he thought of a rather interesting plan.

To put any plan into action though, he really needs to be feeling a bit better. And perhaps after all Shuuhei would be able to help...

When Yumichika reaches the 9th's headquarters he doesn't announce himself, but wanders without knocking into the Fukutaichou's office and shuts the door behind him. Shuuhei is there, working somewhat erratically on a huge pile of paperwork. Yumichika pulls a chair up next to Shuuhei's and slides into it, depositing the papers carelessly on the already overcrowded desk. Then he regards Shuuhei quizzically, but without saying anything.

Shuuhei turns to look at him. 'Yumichika.' There's mild surprise an a slightly note of anticipatory excitement in his voice. He knows something's up. 'What can I do for you?'

Then he looks closer, and a his tone changes to concern. 'Are you OK? You don't look well...'

'Well, no.' Yumichika says, smiling. 'Taichou was kind enough earlier to tell me I looked like shit...'

'I wouldn't go that far...' Shuuhei leans forward. He's intrigued that Yumichika should have come to him like this, when he'd clearly been avoiding him last night.

The thing is, Shuuhei...' Yumichika wonders how best to put his proposition. 'Well, it's one of two things, really. You can choose. And I'm prepared to... do something for you in return...' He meets Shuuhei's gaze for a heartbeat longer than is normal. Then he lowers his eyes and hesitates a moment before saying, 'I suppose there's no chance of you taking Kira off my hands...?'

Shuuhei laughs, slightly grimly. 'Man, no way.' he says. 'I feel like I am well out of that. Seriously, I'm not going to go there. Not even for...' he looks Yumichika up and down, lasciviously, 'a little something in return... What's the other thing?'

'Oh, well. I can't say I blame you. In that case, it's simpler really... I just need to feel a little more... energetic.' Yumichika puts his elbows on the desk and leans close to Shuuhei. He lowers his voice seductively. 'You're the only person I can ask. I promise I wouldn't take anything like as much as last time. And we can do... whatever you want. I'll make it worth while for you...'

Shuuhei leans back, but doesn't break the eye contact. His expression is unreadable, and for a moment Yumichika is afraid that he's made him angry, and that he's going to refuse to help at all. He bites nervously at his thumbnail, wondering whether he should just leave now, when Shuuhei suddenly begins to chuckle appreciatively. He tugs Yumichika's hand away from his mouth and keeps hold of it, stroking the palm with his thumb. Yumichika relaxes slightly.

'Alright. Why the hell not?' he says, still laughing. 'I've only got paperwork to do today - I guess I can do that lying down. And you certainly look like you could use a fix...' His tone changes slightly as he reaches out and brushes the side of Yumichika's face with the backs of his fingers. 'How are we going to arrange this though... I don't want to feel like shit while I get my... reward...'

'I won't make you feel that bad,' Yumichika murmurs, sliding Fuji Kujaku from his sheath. 'I'll take most of it afterwards, and just a little now, so I have enough energy to give you a really...' - He moves right up to Shuuhei, - 'good...' - and catches his lower lip briefly between his teeth - 'time.'

Shuuhei can't suppress a moan of desire as Yumichika slides onto his lap and presses against him, the naked sword between them.

'Sakikurue, Ruriiro Kujaku...' Yumichika murmurs the words sensuously against Shuuhei's lips, and just for a moment the tendrils of light in their peacock colours play around them. Shuuhei feels a delicious languid helplessness spread through him, and then the lights die down again. Yumichika sheathes his sword and in the same motion begins move his mouth down Shuuhei's body, kissing and biting, while his hands begin to untie his sash...

An hour later Shuuhei lies panting on the floor, exhausted but utterly satisfied, not quite sure whether it was what Yumichika did to him with his sword or his body that made him feel this way. If he shuts his eyes he can still almost feel Yumichika's fingertips tracing over his skin, almost taste the sweetness of Yumichika's mouth on his, almost re-live the sensation of sinking into the tight heat of the most beautiful arse in Seireritei... 'My god,' he gasps. 'Yumichika, that was...'

Yumichika wanders around the room gathering up his discarded clothing and putting it on. He's humming a little song and looks sleek and well cared for again. He pulls on his collar and smoothes his hair and feathers, then stretches out next to Shuuhei. Shuuhei props himself on one elbow to look at him better. 'You can do that to me anytime,' he continues. 'God, you can take as much reiatsu as you want, if we can do that again.' Then he starts to laugh.

'What is it?' Yumichika demands, kneeling up.

Shuuhei pulls him down close to him again, so that Yumichika's silky hair brushes his cheek. 'So -' he begins, then breaks into helpless giggles. 'So Izuru hasn't put out for Ikkaku yet, then?' he finally says.

'What? What?? Why do you think so - how do you know?' Yumichika frowns. 'I was sure - at least, I assumed they had, after yesterday morning when I woke up and they were asleep together...'

'No, no, I bet not,' Shuuhei smoothes gently with his fingertips at the frown between Yumichika's eyebrows. 'For him to be still chasing round after Izuru instead of staying at home with you... Man, he is going to be one seriously disappointed guy...'


	5. Chapter 5

Back at the 11th Ikkaku had watched Yumichika leave and then slammed his fist into the screen door, breaking through one of the panels. He feels so damn horny and that secretive glint in Yumichika's eye didn't help. What is he up to? Ikkaku knows him well enough to know that he's up to something. He didn't tell Yumichika the other morning, but he and Kira haven't actually had sex yet. The night before last they'd slept together, but nothing more. He was actually afraid that Yumichika would see this as worse - more personal and intimate - so he'd let him assume that they had. He doesn't want to be too pushy, but, god, the waiting is driving him crazy already...

He'd paid Kira an early morning visit, hoping to catch him in bed, still sleep-drugged and pliable, but he was up. He had the air of someone who'd been up for hours, doing useful things. He'd made Ikkaku tea, and told him that he absolutely understood why Ikkaku had had to go so abruptly the night before.

'You mustn't worry about it,' he'd said, peering at Ikkaku with a look of devastating patience and understanding. 'I don't blame you at all.'

Ikkaku had forgotten that he'd done anything that might require him to feel bad, so this came as a bit of a surprise. And for once the sweetness and calm and patience made him feel a bit fidgety. His mind kept returning unbidden to his futon at the 11th, complete with a sleeping Yumichika sprawled across it... he rarely had a chance to observe Yumichika deeply asleep - he was nearly always up before him.

And Yumichika had seemed so beautiful and defenceless, his limbs wound up in the sheet, one hand fiercely gripping the pillow. Ikkaku had pushed back a heavy lock of hair that had fallen over his face, half-hoping he'd wake, but he'd only stirred a little.

He'd tried to dispel the image by taking Kira's tea away from him and kissing him urgently, skimming his fingertips over that sharp jawline, his other hand in the small of his back. Kira had returned his kisses obediently, but it seemed to Ikkaku that he lacked passion. He seemed awkward as well, and eventually Ikkaku had given up, arranging to come back that afternoon.

He's so sure that there must be suppressed passion in Kira. That under that meek, submissive exterior he must have his own fierce desires, his own fire. Ikkaku wants to unlock it. He wants to see the real Kira. Once he's done that, he feels that perhaps he'll be able to give him up with equanimity. When he knows what's there.

Over at the 9th, Shuuhei really ought to've heeded the warnings his brain was throwing at him, and sent Yumichika straight back the 11th once their little transaction was over. He knows it's not a good plan to get in too deep here. But instead he persuaded Yumichika to stay and drink tea with him while he told him all about his experience of being in a relationship with Kira.

'Izuru' he says, 'is fairly terrible in bed. I don't know if it's just because he's got hang-ups about Ichimaru, but it's a fucking drag. Anyway, it's what we split up about. I gave him a lot of time, I was patient, I didn't criticise at first, but after a few months of him murmuring 'taichou' when I'm inside him, and crying afterwards... god, you can't imagine.

Shuuhei tries not to smile as he watches Yumichika's expression become slowly more and more satisfied and calculating. He continues.

'It's seriously demoralising. And also, he doesn't do much, y'know, he's not like you, he doesn't take the initiative very much. Sometimes it's a bit like making love to a corpse. Or, y'know, what you imagine making love to a corpse would be like...'

'And when you don't get much response except tears and shit, well, you get nervous, and you start to think you're doing something wrong.'

Yumichika hits him lightly on the upper arm, 'Don't be an idiot Shuuhei. If you'd been doing 'something wrong' with me, you'd know about it, I can tell you...'

'Anyway, perhaps Ikkaku won't mind too much if Kira's thinking of another man, because he will be himself, won't he?' says Shuuhei.

'What, me?' says Yumichika, a forlorn note entering his voice. 'I don't know how much he's been thinking about me recently...'

'Oh, come on...' Shuuhei traps Yumichika's face between his hands. 'I was thinking of you when I was with Kira, for the last few weeks. So Ikkaku definitely will.' He smooths silky hair away from Yumichika's face. 'Before we came out, that night, we made love, if you can call it that, and he whispered 'taichou', like normal, so I let myself say your name. And he hated it so much that that was it. We were over.'

This makes Yumichika laugh, which was what Shuuhei was aiming for, though it's a bitter little laugh. He continues, 'Anyway, even setting you aside, Ikkaku's probably just about as captain-obsessed as Kira is, in his way.'

'That's true,' Yumichika murmurs. 'The captain and I - we must be the most important people to Ikkaku...'

'The captain and I,' The words run around Yumichika's head as he walks back towards the 11th. It was obviously no good expecting to get a rise out of Ikkaku with someone like Shuuhei - he'd shown how little he cared about that the night he got with Kira. But the Captain! If it was possible, it was the best plan Yumichika had had yet. Ikkaku would be doubly jealous. And after their encounter this morning, Yumichika thinks it might just be possible...

He feels, if not exactly happy, at least cheerful. He wonders if he might get slightly addicted to Shuuhei's reiatsu. It does feel so good... he can see himself going over there quite a lot, if this carries on. And he'd enjoyed Shuuhei's company as well. It was nice to feel that he didn't have to hide anything.

After and hour or so of making life hell for his subordinates Ikkaku goes back and looks at the mess he's made of the door and supposes that he'd better mend it before Yumichika gets back. He's always liked working with his hands, and as he removes the damaged panel he begins to feel a bit more serene. He doesn't hurry. He goes away and cuts a new piece of rice paper to the right size. They always keep some to hand, as Ikkaku's done this a few times before... He's about to check it against the gap, hoping he won't have to take the whole door apart to slot it in, when Yumichika's face appears there.

'Ooh, what happened?' he says. He looks, Ikkaku thinks, incredibly different to the waif-like creature he'd been earlier. He vaguely wonders why. Automatically he leans forward to kiss him through the hole. Yumichika pulls back.

Ikkaku opens the door and reaches for him again. 'What is it?' he asks. 'You're looking better...'

Yumichika subtly moves out of reach. 'Why thank-you!' he says, looking coyly down and putting one hand to his cheek. 'I feel better... but, Ikkaku?'

'What?' Ikkaku has a bad feeling, suddenly. He's sure he's not going to like this - there's something about Yumichika's tone.

'Do you mind, just for this month, if we don't... you know... do anything? It would make it easier for me...

Ikkaku's face falls. 'You... don't want me to touch you? For a month?'

God, I do want you to touch me, thinks Yumichika. It's so hard not to just throw himself at Ikkaku. But it seems that Shuuhei was right. Ikkaku is obviously enormously frustrated, and when his enforced celibacy ends in bad sex, he'll be driven nearly mad by it. Yumichika is determined not to make it easy for him. He won't let him have the satisfaction of simultaneously getting great sex with Yumichika and the thrill of novelty and pursuit with Kira. If he's allowed to dilute the insipidity of Kira with a dash of Yumichika-flavoured fun and vivacity then he'll never realise what a mistake he's making...

'You tease!' says Ikkaku. It's almost a groan.

'Me a tease?!' Yumichika makes his tone reproachful. 'Don't be greedy, Ikkaku. You can't have your cake and eat it.'

Damn! thinks Ikkaku. It's too late now to explain that he's not getting any cake from Kira. Yumichika would never believe him. And he'd probably laugh at him. He's just going to have to make damn sure that Kira capitulates soon. 'OK, OK.' he says. 'If that's what's going to make you happy then I won't. But, damn it, Yumichika... you're hard to resist...'

He stands exaggeratedly back for Yumichika to pass through the door, and then realises that he's entirely scrumpled up the perfect sheet of paper in his hand.

As soon as his face is hidden from Ikkaku's view Yumichika relaxes and lets the grin he's been repressing break out. Thank goodness Ikkaku hadn't actually asked him to come to him outright, though, because he'd've capitulated in moments... Yumichika could never refuse Ikkaku anything. Now he just has to set things in motion for the finishing touch. As soon as he thinks of this aspect of his plan, though, he feels like a swarm of hell butterflies just took off in his stomach. Is this really a good idea? he starts to think, but hastily squashes the thought. If he can get this right Ikkaku will be begging him to take him back. And he won't be satisfied by anything less than that now.


	6. Chapter 6

Ikkaku's evening with Kira didn't quite go as he had planned. He'd gone over to the 3rd in the late afternoon, but after supper Kira had said that he shouldn't stay. He said things like 'the morale of the squad' and 'I don't want it to be while I'm thinking about paperwork, or tomorrow's training.' Ikkaku had promised that he wouldn't be able to think about any of those things if he let him do what he wanted, but Kira could be surprisingly stubborn, in his meek way. But they did have a definite date for the next night.

So Ikkaku had gone back to the 11th and he and Yumichika had slept on separate futons, in accordance with Yumichika's request that for this month they didn't act as a couple. Ikkaku hated it, though he didn't say anything. He was used to going to sleep with a warm lithe body next to him. Or entwined with him. Or nestled in his arms. It took him much longer to get to sleep than normal. What's he trying to do? he asked himself as he lay in the dark, looking at the ceiling in the dimness, and listening to Yumichika's light breathing, that much further away from him than he was used to. What's his plan?

All his ideas are thrown into disarray in the grey pre-dawn light, though, when he wakes with Yumichika's hand in his. In the night Yumichika must have unconsciously migrated towards Ikkaku, and now he's huddled on the cold floor in between the two futons. He's fast asleep, but shivering slightly. His grip on Ikkaku's hand is fierce, and his other hand is clenched into a fist. Half asleep himself, Ikkaku doesn't think, but throws an arm over him and draws him in to his own bed. He feels the tense body relax against his as he almost immediately falls back to sleep. But when he wakes again in bright sunlight a few hours later, Yumichika is up and gone.

He stretches out in the too-large-feeling bed and stares at the ceiling again. Obviously Yumichika can't hide his real feelings when he's asleep, and Ikkaku smiles to himself. Yumichika still wants him, despite what he said yesterday. Then he feels sad, thinking about what he's been putting Yumichika through. If only I'd said a week instead of a month, he thinks suddenly, and then is horrified at himself for thinking it. Still. He can't unthink it now. I've been a fool, he says to himself.

He goes to the 3rd at lunchtime. Even waiting that long is hard - once he's made up his mind, he wants to act. What he didn't expect is to have his resolve broken by Kira.

He doesn't look at him as he says, 'I think we should finish this, Kira. I've been thinking about what's most important to me and Yu-'

Kira hand on his lips stops him. 'Don't say that, Ikkaku,' he pleads. 'I know I've probably frustrasted you - I just wanted everything to be perfect...'

'Kira, it's not that,' Ikkaku protests. 'It's. It's just. Kira, I've hurt Yumichika so much over this. I can't bear to hurt him any more.'

Kira looks desperate. 'What's Yumichika to do with us. Can't this be separate?'

'Yumichika is everything to do with me,' Ikkaku cries. 'You see, this is no good for you either. I can't be separate from Yumichika, and that's not what you need.' God, you bastard, he tells himself. Blaming this on him. Telling him what's best for him. These are just break-up platitudes.

Kira seems to read his mixed feelings in his expression, because he changes tack. 'These are just words, Ikkaku,' he says, and moves up close to him. 'Just words you think you should say.' He presses himself against Ikkaku and gently kisses him, just on the corner of his mouth. He draws Ikkaku further into the room and slides the door shut behind him, then begins to untie his sash.

Ikkaku hasn't had sex for over a fortnight now, and his resolve disappears along with his hakama. The normally shy and prim Kira is wantonly inviting him, and he's painfully hard as he pushes him down onto his futon and strips off his clothes. Eager as he is, though, he expects some kind of foreplay, but this doesn't seem to be what Kira wants. His lingering kisses are only perfunctorily returned, and his strokes and caresses all seem somehow to result in Kira lying face-down and spreading his legs. His one attempt to take Kira in his mouth makes him squirm away from him. There doesn't seem to be any doubt about it. Kira doesn't want to make love. He just wants to be fucked.

Of course, there's a place for the quick shag - it's an institution that Ikkaku is extremely fond of. But this is their first time! Ikkaku wants to relish it. He wants to explore Kira and discover him. He makes one more attempt - there doesn't seem to be any avoiding Kira's arse now, so he uses his tongue there instead. Kira squirms away again, moaning 'please Ikkaku, please just take me...'

'OK, OK,' Ikkaku soothes, though to be honest he's getting less into the whole idea. He's a bit less hard too. He brings out the little vial of oil that he tends to carry with him, mainly in case he and Yumichika decide on impromptu al fresco sex. Kira twists round.

'You don't have to use that...' he whispers. Ikkaku looks at him in disbelief.

'Kira... I don't want to hurt you...' Kira's only moans in response, though, so Ikkaku uses the lubricant anyway, disquieted by the idea that he's unwitting participant in a rape fantasy. He slides slowly into Kira, and Kira shudders and moans, but doesn't make any attempt to move by himself. So Ikkaku does what he seems to want, and just fucks him. He surprises himself by feeling boredom. He comes fairly quickly, and doesn't attempt to hold on to it. He's already planning how he's going to get away afterwards when he hears Kira almost inaudibly whisper the word 'taichou.'

At the 11th, Yumichika is on edge and overwrought. He's had a very trying day, ever since he'd woken up in Ikkaku's bed, and cursed himself for his inabililty to stick to his plan. He'd known that Ikkaku was going to see Kira in the evening, but when he rushed off before lunch, after having spent the morning looking both preoccupied and apprehensive, Yumichika concluded that his nocturnal migration had somehow driven Ikkaku even further away from him.

He's standing by the window, wondering whether Ikkaku will return before the evening and whether it might be worth going to see Shuuhei, when he feels Kenpachi enter the room. He's about to turn around when he suddenly senses Ikkaku's reiatsu as well, and knows he's not far away. So instead he waits until his captain is right behind him.

Kenpachi can't quite think what seems unusual about the situation - not being able to sense reiatsu himself he sometimes forgets that Yumichika is always sensitive to his whereabouts as well as his every change in mood. He forgets that there's no way he'd be able to walk up behind Yumichika without Yumichika being aware of it, but something does feel odd to him and it piques his interest. He reaches out to touch his shoulder - partly to get his attention, partly because he senses Yumichika's unhappiness and wants somehow to comfort him - and finds himself stroking his cheek instead as Yumichika suddenly turns around.

There's a moment in which he could have jerked his hand back and made the normal brusque, dismissive remarks with which he shields himself from Yumichika's sexuality, but two day's worth of Yumichika's inviting glances have paid off and he misses his opportunity. His hand lingers on the smooth skin, skims over the sinfully sensual lower lip, then slides around to grip the back of his neck. Kenpachi is not a hugely sexual person but the way Yumichika's breath catches in his throat and the way he stiffens slightly before yielding to Kenpachi's embrace make it impossible for him not to be aroused. He pulls him tighter, exploring the slender body with his hands and eliciting a low moan. He tips Yumichika's head back further, and is about to kiss him when he notices his eyes flicker over to the doorway. And then hears a sound.

Ikkaku is standing there, and one look at Yumichika's face tells Kenpachi that if he had thought Yumichika was doing this because he truly wanted him, he was wrong. This little performance was for Ikkaku and Ikkaku alone.


	7. Chapter 7

Ikkaku feels sick. Apart from that he doesn't really know what he feels. He just keeps thinking, over and over, we've gone too far. This should never have involved the captain. He looks at the pair of them, Kenpachi with his 'what the fuck' expression and Yumichika - to anyone else, Yumichika would look defiant and possibly slightly calculating. To Ikkaku, he looks desperate.

Ikkaku knows he can't lie to him - he's never been good at keeping anything from Yumichika, and with that expression on his face - Ikkaku knows that he has to be able to honestly tell him that it is all over with Kira. That he's ended it. Not that he's going to end it, or he wants to end it. That it's done.

Unfortunately, that's not quite true yet. He'd been so desperate to get away from Kira, and he'd felt so wretched and guilty about the whole thing that he'd said a lot of things he probably shouldn't have. He'd said he come back later. He said he'd think about things.

Ikkaku turns away. He can't look at them anymore. Yumichika frantically beating his wings agaist the cage of circumstance which is slowly closing in on him. The captain. God, the captain, who he'd been used to slightly preferring him to Yumichika - has it now gone the other way around? He decides to go back to the 3rd, tell Kira he's done thinking and it's definitely over, and then come back and hope his world has been put to rights in his absence. After all, surely this is just another of Yumichika's little games.

He leaves, and is surprised to find Yumichika right behind him. He wants to take him in his arms, but he doesn't, because he can't tell him what he wants to tell him yet. 'Wait!' he says instead, holding him at arms length. 'Please, just wait.' And flashsteps away.

He means wait for me to come back. Don't do anything til I come back. But Yumichika takes it to mean wait til the month is over. Don't try to follow me. Don't come after me. Leave me alone. The force of Ikkaku leaving throws him hard against the doorframe, the base of his skull connecting sickeningly with the wood. His head spins as he makes his way back inside.

The first thing he sees as he comes back into the dim training room is the captain, still standing by the window. 'You little tease,' he says. 'That was all for Ikkaku wasn't it?

Yumichika looks him straight in the eye, 'Yes,' he says. His eyes narrow. 'But take me if you want to. I don't care if you hurt me, I just want not to think about him.'

Kenpachi looks at him for a moment, standing there in front of him, at once both broken and defiant. His face has become a beautiful mask, chin lifted, immobile.

'In fact,' he says, his voice steady and expressionless, 'the more the better.'

So Kenpachi covers the distance between them in two strides. He's never seen Yumichika in this mood before. He's certainly never seen him self-destructive or nihilistic. Never known him to seek oblivion in pain. And somehow it makes him want to crush that outer shell, crush it and discard it so that Yumichika can never wear it again.

He returns his hand to where it had been only a few minutes before, gripping the back of Yumichika's neck, and roughly snaps his head back so that the startled violet eyes look into his. 'This is your last chance,' he growls, 'to say 'no'.'

At the 3rd, Ikkaku has refused to actually come inside this time, and Kira leans with one hand on the door handle, and listens to him, resigned by now to men leaving him as quickly as they come. 'I'm sorry,' Ikkaku is saying. 'I hope we can still meet as friends.' Actually he really doesn't much care by now, but it sounds good.

'Alright, Ikkaku. I guess I have to accept it.' Kira's blue eyes are lowered. 'Obviously it's not what I want, but I've been thinking too, and I can see now that I'm not really ready to get into another relationship. I was...' he glances up at Ikkaku fleetingly, then looks back down again. 'I hoped that maybe you'd be able to make me forget about him,' he whispers. 'But we both know that didn't work.'

'Kira...' Ikkaku begins, but he has no idea what he can say in reply to this, so he's relieved when Kira cuts him off.

'I'm sorry, and I'm not saying this to try and get you back. I know Shuuhei hated it - it must be awful. But that's just who I am at the moment. I can't be whole-hearted about anyone. Not like you and Yumichika.

'Only...' he looks up suddenly, not at Ikkaku but off into the distance, 'if you truly care so much about him, aren't you worried?'

'Worried?' Ikkaku wonders despite what Kira's just said if this is some kind of trick, designed to make him reconsider. 'What?'

'Well, can't you feel it? I've been feeling it for a while now. His reiatsu... he's not ... I think something's wrong.'

Ikkaku looks at Kira and sees that he's serious. He concentrates hard and tunes his mind in to Yumichika's reiatsu - it's not easy for him to sense from here - and it is in turmoil. It's obvious to him that something seriously bad is happening to Yumichika - it feels almost like he's fighting, but somehow darker and both more emotional and more hopeless. Ikkaku feels the colour drain from his face.

'My God,' he breathes. Then, without even looking at Kira again he's gone, flashstepping as fast as he can back to the 11th division.

When Ikkaku gets back, he finds the squad headquarters deserted. No-one seems to be about. Outside, it suddenly begins to rain in huge drops, and the already dim rooms seem even darker. He walks through the training room and thinks that it smells musty and unused, even though he'd been sparring in there yesterday. Something crunches underfoot and he almost slips on the wooden floor. He looks down and sees tiny shards of broken glass. It's the remains of the little vial, identical to his, that Yumichika always carries. It was all but empty when he trod on it, but the last few drops of oil have leaked out now and are soaking into the wood. He picks up the tiny cork stopper, and puts it in his pocket. What's that doing here? he thinks, and his stomach begins to twist with something that is almost panic.

He wants to call out Yumichika's name, but there is something oppressive about the silence. It's heavy and deadening, and makes him want to whisper and walk on tiptoes. He goes out through the other door and walks to his and Yumichika's room. The door is locked, which is odd. They generally only lock it when they're both inside, and quite often not even then, which has let to more embarrassing incidents with their Fukutaichou than he cares to think about. 'Yumichika,' he calls softly, but there is no reply.

He walks the length of the corridor to the captain's office. The screen door is ajar, and he puts his head round. For a moment he thinks no-one's there either, but then he sees Yachiru. She's lying on the desk, idly folding important documents into immensely complicated paper missiles and looking utterly bored. When she sees Ikkaku she pelts him mercilessly with them. Ikkaku doesn't have the heart to defend himself, and just stands there in the doorway, letting them hit him.

'You're boring, baldy,' says Yachiru. 'Why don't you fight?'

'A warrior must stand and take his injuries like a man,' murmurs Ikkaku. He lets one of the planes that he had unconsciously caught in one hand flutter to the floor. 'Fukutaichou, have you seen Yumichika?'

'He's boring too. He's in your room. He gave me a letter for you, though.'

'What? When? Where is it?'

'It's one of those.' Yachiru points at the paper plane graveyard at Ikkaku's feet, then goes back to her folding.

Ikkaku scrabbled frantically through the debris, looking for a trace of Yumichika's distinctive script, but presumably for artistic reasons Yachiru has mostly folded the writing to the inside. He unfolds a few, tearing them in his haste. The trouble is, Yumichika always ends up doing most of the squad's paperwork. Most of them turn out to be in his handwriting.

'Give me a clue, Fukutaichou, what did he write it on??'

'Paper!' says Yachiru, with an air of being extremely helpful.

Ikkaku sighs, and reads a few lines here and there. Obviously it's not '1567 spent on sake', or 'Officer Aramaki confined to 4th'. But what about 'all I ever seem to learn from love is how to shoot at someone who outdrew you,' or 'the one-eyed undertaker, he blows a feudal horn,' or 'beauty walks a razors edge,'... does Yumichika write poetry in his spare time?

Then he picks up 'Please don't hate me for this. I don't know what to say. Please don't come back just yet.' His heart feels like it stopped. It's written in a shaky scrawl, and there's at least as much more that has been heavily inked over.

'Shit!' Ikkaku cries. 'Shit, shit, what've I done?' He rushes back down the corridor to the door to their room. 'Yumichika.' He calls urgently. 'Yumichika!'

'Why did you come back?' Yumichika's voice is small and cold and tired, and it sounds like it's coming from further away than would be possible inside the room.

'Why wouldn't I come back. I love you.'

'You don't have to say that, Ikkaku. If you don't want to, you don't have to. I guess I'll be OK anyway.'

'What? What is this, Yumichika?'

'I just want to be alone.'

'Yumichika, I ended it with Kira. Won't you open the door, at least?

There is only silence from inside the room.

'You won't?'

More silence.


	8. Chapter 8

Ikkaku leans his forehead against the wooden doorframe. He can tell from the tone of Yumichika's voice that this isn't another game. It's not part of some Machiavellian scheme. There's even a raw quality even to the silence that tells him this is for real.

'Yumichika. Please open the door. Please.' Ikkaku is terrified now. He doesn't know what's happened except that Yumichika seems to have turned away from him completely. Why, why, didn't he swallow his pride yesterday, or even this morning, and admit to Yumichika that he just wanted things back as they were. When Yumichika still seemed to want that too.

He leans against the door and listens, looking for any clue that will tell him what to do next. He can sense Yumichika's reiatsu, very low. It's no wonder he couldn't feel him immediately, when he first went past the door. It's very different to how it was when he and Kira felt it at the 3rd. But actually, it's not consistantly low. It's jumping all over the place. Ikkaku's fear changes character. He almost thinks he can hear Yumichika's heartbeart now, terribly fast, and his breathing coming in little ragged gasps. Without thinking he smashes his fist through the door for the second time in as many days, and turns the catch on the inside. In less than a second he's by Yumichika's side.

He's lying on Ikkaku's futon, huddled into a fetal position. He's shaking all over, and his eyes are wide.

'Yumichika!' Ikkaku scoops him up and holds him tight, trying to still his trembling with the warmth of his body. 'What happened?'

Yumichika hides his face in Ikkaku's shoulder and clings on to him fiercely. 'It all went so wrong,' he whispers. 'I just wanted to make you want me again, but I - I'

'Yumichika.' Ikkaku rocks him back and forward, his face pressed into the black silky hair. God, how he's missed this. That particular scent of him, the slight weight in his arms, the familiar heartbeat now beginning to settle into a steadier rhythm. 'I never stopped wanting you. I'm so sorry I ever made you think that I had.' Oh, my Yumichika, he thinks. What have I allowed to happen to you? He gently slips his fingers under Yumichika's chin and slowly turns his face up to look at him.

It's the most forlorn Ikkaku has ever seen him. His lower lip is bleeding, and there are scratches down one side of his face. Nail marks. And - he tilts Yumichika's head to one side - all down his neck, there are... bite marks? Yes, definitely bite marks. In some places the pointed canines have even pierced the skin. When he finally speaks Ikkaku's tone is grim. 'Who did this to you?' Yumichika looks wretched and says nothing. 'Yumichika! Who?'

Yumichika's lips part and Ikkaku leans close to him. He doesn't want to make him say it twice. And part of him probably already knows the answer. But he's not prepared for it even so.

'Taichou.' Yumichika whispers, not looking away from Ikkaku's eyes.

'T-taichou?' Ikkaku feels as though his whole life is toppling over the edge of a cliff, about to freefall and then smash to pieces.

'Ikkaku,' Yumichika is speaking again and he forces himself to listen. 'I ... asked him to. After you left. He said the same as you did the other day... 'you little tease,' he said, 'this is all for Ikkaku, isn't it?', and I said, 'take me if you want. I don't care how much you hurt me, I just want not to think about him.' So he did. But it hurt so much. I couldn't stand afterwards... and I never stopped thinking of you anyway.'

Ikkaku finds that there are tears in his eyes - his vision is blurring. He blinks rapidly so that he can see Yumichika properly again, then gently kisses the bruised and swollen lips. He tastes the metallic tang of Yumichika's blood - a familiar taste to him, as his must be to Yumichika.

Yumichika continues talking as their lips part. He forces the words out disjointedly, but he seems to need to say them. 'Afterwards he said to me, 'I shouldn't have done that, even though you said you wanted me to. But,' He looks away from Ikkaku and swallows unhappily, 'you're difficult to resist.' And strangely, that was the hardest bit to bear, that he should say that.'

There are so many things Ikkaku wants to say, but he doesn't trust himself to speak yet. He turns Yumichika's head so that he's facing him again, and just keeps looking into his eyes that are getting more beautiful every moment. He winces as he imagines how Yumichika must have pretended to Kenpachi afterwards that he was OK. Maybe even pretending that it had achieved the oblivion that he'd wanted. Forcing himself to get to his feet, and dragging himself back here, for the sake of his pride, and so that they could all meet each other's eyes the next day.

Finally he says, 'I'm still angry with him. You might have said he could hurt you, but I didn't.'

Yumichika replies, 'I don't think he meant to hurt me that much. But you know how he is.' He puts his arms around Ikkaku's neck and drags himself up so that their faces touch. 'He's hurt me a lot more than this in training...'

'Not like this. This is different.' Ikkaku hates to hear Yumichika defend the captain's actions. He should've been careful of Yumichika. Anyone who touches him should be.

'I know.' Yumichika sighs gently. And although Ikkaku wants to say more, wants to let out his righteous anger and indignation at Kenpachi, he realises that that would just be self-indulgent. He knows why Kenpachi's almost apology was the hardest thing for Yumichika to hear. He doesn't want his unhappiness magnified by other people's sympathy. Ikkaku wonders if Yumichika would ever have told him if he hadn't found him like this.

So he doesn't say anything, but just continues to hold him, and after a few moments of silence he's rewarded by Yumichika whispering to him, 'I'm so glad you came.'

They stay like that until Yumichika starts to shiver again, and then Ikkaku carries him into the bathroom and makes him a nest of towels to sit in while he runs the bath, deep and hot. Yumichika picks a glass splinter off the floor and drops it in the bin. It's come full circle, he thinks. The sound of the running water hitting the enamel seems to drown out his wretchedness and he begins to feel calm. He still aches all over, and if he sits normally he feels like he's on fire, but he can bear physical pain easily. Compared to the pain of thinking that he'd lost Ikkaku, it's nothing.

Ikkaku lowers him gently into the warm water, and he looks up into the face of the man he knows he's going to stay with forever.

They both speak at the same time, and smile as they realise they were saying the same thing. 'Let's forget this relationship open thing. I don't need anyone else.'


End file.
